/biz/ — NUCLEAR HAPPENING

Institutions were doing this 4+ years ago, will change nothing.

Who care Robin hood did it first

Also I think thos agentic stuff might be overhyped, I ran bots before and idk why I would switch to an ai that hallucinates

>>62352687 (OP)
Sharper /pol/ + /b/‑style mock

“NUCLEAR HAPPENING”
Calm down, doomsday prophet — Coinbase letting AI trade crypto isn’t the Cuban Missile Crisis.

You’re acting like ChatGPT just seized the launch codes when all it did was place a limit order on DOGE at 3 AM.

This isn’t Skynet, it’s a robo‑intern buying your bags because you can’t stop doomscrolling long enough to click “confirm trade.”

The only meltdown here is your brain trying to process a press release.

Even sharper (still safe)

Bro saw “AI agents can rebalance your portfolio” and immediately started building a fallout shelter out of Amazon boxes.

Coinbase: adds a convenience feature

OP: “THE MACHINES HAVE RISEN.”

Relax, Nostradamus. The AI isn’t overthrowing humanity — it’s just making sure you stop panic‑selling at the bottom.

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i will outcompete them easily

market buy @40K
market sell @180K

I'm the most handsome man on 4chan

>>62352687 (OP)
AI can't do that yet, so "agent" is the correct word, i.e. a model that can't trade gets stupid bandaid skills context from users, in the hope to bait them into losing money.
First thing I did with the new v5 model from Anthropic is stock assessment, it's still too weakly willed to form an opinion, it still just mirrors your sentiment.

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>>62352687 (OP)
nobody cares about "muh crypto" any more boomer. wake up

>>62352773

8
shadow
not first edition

into the trash it goes

>>62352788
k ill take it out of your trash

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>>62352788
Should I get it graded?

>>62352773
>nobody cares
Pretty much this. Not even coinbase has that kind of pull anymore to get people’s attention. Base was OK in the beginning but it turned out to be yet another liquidity farm for insiders. For years, crypto had a bad rep but the last couple of years, along with the sol shitcoin casino, basically finished it off.

>>62352773
>now the cryptards will try to kill pokemon for threatening their ecosystem