ANTON PEAS: that’s your name… don’t wear it out! Feels like it’s been ages since a botched summoning ritual brought you to ZORAL: a fantasy world shrouded in perpetual darkness… but you’ve really only been here for a few days–and BOY have you been busy!
Your memories? Foggy! A way home? Uncertain! People trying to kill you? Very Yes! To say this new world is treacherous would be an understatement, to say the least, and to make matters worse, an archdevil who calls himself ’RED’ is your best chance at remembering who you were!
His price? Slaying THE FOUR LORDS: a kooky quartet of tyrants and beasts who jealously rule their slice of Zoral with an iron fist… or claw… or whatever they have! Having just put an end to the overdue reign of ARCHMAGE TRIER in the never-sleeping city of UMBERAL, your aggressive altruism freed none other than KNODD, Earthmother and god of the land!
Juiced up on divine powers and named the first’CHAMPION OF THE GODS’, your new status attracted the notice of several high-rung folks, chief among them THE STAR-CLOAKS: a clandestine cadre of mages devoted to maintaining order in Zoral, no matter the cost! Weirder still was when you met their Guildmaster: VOLKIR! Volka’s adoptive father and curmudgeon par excellence, the old coot didn’t waste much time in tossing a new crisis your way: per what you heard from Trier, there’s a SIEGE headed to CROSSROADS! Who’s planning it and why? The details are foggy, but who better than you is there to help save the day?
Having just acquired several Emergency Supply caches for the city from a pair of Spice Cartel Holdouts, you turn your heroic attention towards your next task: investigating a group of HEDGE MAGES holed up in one of Crossroads’ many parks… and maybe even recruiting them to your side! With the trade hub bursting at the seams from civil unrest and outside influence, you can use all the help you can get your mitts on… something tells you this ain’t gonna be easy!
Making your way across a rapidly-deteriorating city, THIS is where your story continues…
NEW DIVINITY-POWERED THREAD THEME! https://youtu.be/p4Z96WwZrL0
>>6405694(OP) Bar the gates and hunker down with the rest of the lads… it’s DARK QUEST! Take a peek at the links and rules below while you’re at it–you’ll be glad ya’ did!
>Archive link to catch up with the last thread: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Dark%20Quest >Pastebin for INVENTORY, SKILLS, and MORE: https://pastebin.com/xdk5kHyA >Character and Other Info compiled by everyone’s favorite Spinner… https://pastebin.com/YKhP6xCt
Rolls are handled by a 1(or more)d100--I take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! 1’s are CRITFAILS while 100’s are CRITSUCCESSES! Certain boosts and maluses will be applied based on the situation and existing skills.
PLEASE ONLY 1 VOTE/ROLL PER PLAYER! If it’s exceptionally slow I’ll ask for people to roll again!
BEEP BEEP! NEW MECHANIC!!! BAD LUCK BALATRO: Every day you get ONE reroll on a LUCK-BASED ROLL (Bluffing, Acrobatics, Dodging... situations where BAD LUCK would make sense per the anon that suggested it! Swell idea, mac!) I will provide the prompt when appropriate!
Describing your actions, write-ins, and GENERAL CREATIVITY are all APPRECIATED AND REWARDED--we like to keep things LIGHT and CHILL here, so come on in and have some fun! FAN ART, THEORIES, AND CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK ARE ALL VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!
DISCLAIMER: THIS QUEST IS DARK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Speak of the devil and he shall appear, you reply with a wry grin and an odd and extra-angry glance from Rezalith next to you.
The three-eyed construct doesn’t even have to turn around to address you as you enter the store–a series of chimes announcing your arrival like a pixie garage band. “Toppel and I are downstairs entertaining our… guest.” Oti continues as his autonomous assistant finally faces you. “Hurry down and we’ll cut to the main course.”
Sure, you shrug, face puckering at the acrid smell of gunpowder blanketing the store, but… why HERE exactly? You had to hoof it halfway across CROSSROADS! And people are getting looty!
“Don’t act like I didn’t carry you most of the way…” Snarls Rezalith, the fiend’s wings flapping angrily as she sends you a sidelong and very snippy glance!
You didn’t know a magical construct could frown, but ya’ learn something new every day! “Surely you recall this is where my TOWER is located?” Asks the Chytree’s disembodied and perpetually-peeved voice as you firmly, but politely snatch a particularly-large piece of ordnance out of Rezalith’s eager claws, “The defenses are primed. No one will be able to scry us or our new tenant, and if they do, well… they’ll wish they didn’t.”
The automaton pauses.
“... And it’s a FIREWORKS SHOP. Who buys fireworks at a time like this?”
… What if someone wanted to use them to blow something up? People are getting a little antsy outside, what with the martial law and-
A faint metallic rumble wriggles free of the robot. A laugh?
“The shop’s closed–I unlocked the door when I sensed your approach, but unless someone else shows up in the nex-”
A door’s-worth of perfect timing slams into your back and sends you stumbling, heralding the arrival of an EXEPTIONALLY surly-looking Skog! With you too busy peeling yourself off the floor and Rezzie too busy snickering at your misfortune, it falls upon Oti’s magically-animated merchant to take charge of the situation!
“We’re closed. Go away.”
Expertly-handled. Yep, that oughta’ do it.
“Now hold on a coupla twoertree seconds!” Growls the giant as he stoops under the doorframe with a stony look in his eye, “I’s been tryin’ ta’ frequent dis’ here fireworksery fer’ weeks now, see?!”
“And why, pray tell, can’t our automated associates assist you… sir?” Oti answers in a tone that usually precedes a particularly murderous spell.
“It’s a special order I’ve got, see?” Explains the Skog as he steps over your still-collapsed carcass! “An’ they kept tellin’ me ta’ speak ta’ the manager about it! So where’s the manager, ey?”
An uncomfortable silence settles over the shop as you stumble to your feet. “He’s… a bit tied up,” Groans Oti through his construct, “But-”
>>6405703 “Oi. You.” The Skog snarls, jabbing a claw into your recently-risen chest that is TOTALLY gonna leave a bruise, you just know it, “Youse’s the manager, ain’tcha? Well MANAGE!”
You answer his request with a befuddled blink followed by a placating grin. And, uh, what makes him assume you’re the manager of this fine establi-
“Yer’ the only one in ‘ere, ain’t ya? ‘Side fer’ your security wench, that is!” He rumbles as his eye flits over to a confused Rezalith! Bad move, you think with a sinister smile! She’s not gonna let him talk about her li-
“I want my name to be BEATRY.”
Goddamn it. Look, you groan, you’re no-
“Anton,” Oti’s construct crackles, “I’ve too many potions on the boil right now. Handle this swiftly. Or I will.”
Why are YOU always handling everyone else’s problems? When’s someone gonna handle YOUR problems, huh? You were fine with helping Tzah-Tzie scratch that itch between her ears before she ran off to help with the RECRUITMENT DRIVE! You politely listened to Volka’s joke through the COMMS DOOHICKY! AND Morook’s attempt at one! You even acquiesced when Rezalith ordered you to give her a compliment–any why wouldn’t you? She was carrying you, like, a million feet above the city!
This uh, ‘customer’ doesn’t seem too riled up, but you dunno how much that’ll change if you screw things up here! Taking a steadying breath, you decide to… >Double-down! We’re closed! Come back later please! >Indulge! What exactly does he need? >Probe! Can’t he come back later? What’s the rush? >Delegate! Rezzo, deal with this guy! >Deflect! You’re not the manager, dude, and the guy who is is a powerful and really impatient wizard! >Stay Silent! He’ll Think You Disappeared! >BIISII’S BAG! >Write-In!
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AnonymousID:DAL9WTaq04/30/26(Thu)00:56:49
>>6405705 >Deflect! You’re not the manager, dude, and the guy who is is a powerful and really impatient wizard!
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AnonymousID:3bZX/ipp04/30/26(Thu)05:17:40
>>6405705 >Deflect! You’re not the manager, dude, and the guy who is is a powerful and really impatient wizard!
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AnonymousID:zP/Hr6Hy04/30/26(Thu)05:26:17
>>6405705 >Deflect! You’re not the manager, dude, and the guy who is is a powerful and really impatient wizard! Missed you, bub, and glad to be back in Zoral!
>>6405706 >>6405823 >>6405825 >DEFLECT! Writing! Expect it to take a little time though--my idiot brain decided to start this shit when I'm busy. Leopard can't change its spots I guess! >>6405825 Thanks, big dog--missed you jerks too. And writing.
You’re not exaggerating when you say you don’t have time for this. The siege of Crossroads approaches, probably–hard to say considering how dark this damn place is–and you’re no expert, but you’re pretty sure whoever’s coming isn’t going to give anyone advance notice!
Look, you begin with a contrite smile and a sigh, you’re… you’re not the manager here–Hell, you don’t even work at this joint. The Skog’s face scrunches up in confusion.
“Then why the HELLS-”
You have to meet with the guy in charge, you continue in the most measured tone you can muster, who just so happens to be a really powerful and EXTREMELY impatient wizard… and Crossroads itself hangs in the balance, so-
The tusked terror’s sour expression softens somewhat. “... Oh. You ain’t jokin’, are ya…?”
Fraid not, you shrug, you don’t wanna alarm him or anything, but there’s actually a siege on the horizon an-
“A SIEGE?” Sputters the Skog as his eyes bulge in shock, “Hells, and here I am tryin’ ta’ grab some fireworks for my boy’s birthday! Tapping tottas… B-but a siege? Ya’ sure?”
You can’t help but blink at the sudden reveal. Y-yea, you nod, did… does he not notice how tense it is outside? You must’ve passed, like, six lootings on the way here!
“Woulda’ been seven if you didn’t wuss out on me…” Rezzie grunts as she idly juggles some explosives.
She’s damn right you did!
The customer’s face scrunches up with very Volka-esque contemplation.
“... I DID hear a few soothsayers shouting about the end times and the red comet, yea…” He murmurs, stroking his tusk in thought. “But I reckoned that was just from Guild Chair Fellick dyin’! Ya’ hear about how they still haven’t got a suspect? Scary!”
Yea, it’s, uh… it’s really been at the forefront of your mind, you reply with a half-assed nod. Your answer isn’t wholly-sarcastic–your recon mission to the Bell Tower with Tzah-Tzie a few days ago left you with more questions than answers: sure, you managed to fight off that one BURROWER CULT summoner Jhairo and snag their hand in the process, but from what you gathered from the scene and your subsequent cult infiltration, the Burrowers didn’t seem to be the ones behind the death of Crossroads’ de facto ‘ruler’...
Fat load of good the ensuing lockdown did. Granted, you had to leave town through secret smuggling tunnels, but you don’t need to see to tell the town’s losing its cool–and a siege is only gonna add more fuel to the fire!
So uh, you cough, would it be okay if he came back another time, or-
“Wha? Of course, of course!” Answers the Skog with an embarrassed laugh! “Hells, if we’ve got a siege on the way then it can wait! Stay safe, lil’ buddy!”
Errr, y-yea, you too, you mutter as the Skog departs with an amicable wave! B-big buddy…
>>6406031 “Tch. Poor performance indeed!” Rezzie grumbles as a blanket of fresh silence falls over the shop. Is that right, you remark as you make your way towards the entrance to Oti’s Tower, and what, pray tell, would SHE have done differently, hmm?
“5% Discount on his next purchase for being such a trooper.” She replies with a glimmer in her eye! “Rewards loyalty and encourages word-of-mouth advertising that’ll appeal to the wary consumer. Anyone can buy a firecracker these days, but finding a store that cares about its customers? THAT’S money in the bank.”
… Yea alright, let’s just go already.
“AnTURNIP doesn’t even know about Retention 101… SAD!”
SSHHH!!!
“That was quicker than I anticipated.”
Yea, you scoff as Oti’s bright green eyes await you at the bottom of a long, spiraling ramp, no thanks to him! What’s he thinking, foisting a customer on you like that? The Chytree shrugs.
“You’re better with people.”
… Okay, granted, but-
An exultant cackle echoes across the antechamber as a pair of orange eyes dart around a corner and rush over to the Tower’s master!
“HaHAAA! Took some time, but that mischievous little mage is ready to siiiing~”
“Perfect timing–our interrogator is here.”
Following Oti’s gaze over to yours, the mirth in Toppel’s delighted Durher face dissipates like sugar in a rainstorm!
“... Ah.” She remarks as your presence settles in, “... I should… probably put something on… huh.”
Oti’s stare only intensifies. “I haven’t a clue why you didn’t sooner, but I know better than to ask.” The sorceress’ expression sharpens.
“Y-you know I work best this way! And I never heard you complaini-”
Fun as this conversation is, you interject with a pointed sigh, this mage they caught–what’s the story?
“What indeed…” Toppel huffs as a snap of her fingers swaddles her unseen form in fresh magic, “We found them skulking about BRAITHWIID PARK a few hours ago. Mox girl. Kinda jittery.”
You blink. So they just… kidnapped some random lady from the park?
“Would it KILL you to give me some credit?” The sorceress groans as her eyes dance over to Rezzie for encouragement!
She gets none.
“... The girl reeks of magic–you’ll smell it too.” Toppel continues with a halfhearted sigh. “Nothing in her pockets save for a few bells and some Scraperoot. Here’s the important part, however: she was CLOAKED. Tried her damndest to hide every and any magical signature… but look where it got her!” She concludes with a triumphant laugh!
Who’s watching her now?
“Obber,” The girl shrugs, “But don’t worry–he knows better than to play with the goods.”
“Her magical abilities should be fettered for a time…” Adds Oti as he leads you closer to where they’re keeping her, “I trust the potion worked?”
>>6406032 “Course it did!” Toppel answers with a twirl! “She’s rattled, but she’ll talk–I’d bet my name on it!”
Part of you wants to bring up how you just ran into Toppel’s brother at Torfeo’s place, but you decide otherwise when Oti half-leads, half-ushers you down the hall, leaving Rezalith to fend for herself against her ‘biggest fan’.
“The prisoner should be malleable,” He begins in the usual stern, vaguely-condescending tone, “But ask your questions slowly and clearly.”
Anything in particular you should fish for? The Chytree nods.
“We need to know who else is with her and what they intend.” He answers, drifting at your side like a loyal party balloon. “With luck they’ll merely wish to be left alone.”
… And… without luck?
“They’re up to something.” Oti answers as his eyes burn into yours. “... Do you feel lucky today?”
You don’t bother answering. Turning the corner places you in a room ripe with the smell of ozone, alcohol (of the medical variety), and several more medicine-like fragrances your nose has trouble placing. In the center of it all sits a Mox–the girl’s half-lidded gaze and dopey grin hiding any sense of fear or worry!
“We’ll be outside.” Oti hisses as you feel his presence depart from your side, “Call if you need us!”
Making your way inside, you hear a few familiar claw-clicks against the stony floor. Obber, you begin, any ideas on where to start?
“Click.”
Good call.
Where do you begin with this one? >Introductions! You’re Anton! Who is she? >To the point: What is she doing in the park? >Associates: Who are her friends? >Demographics: Where is she from, exactly? >Current Events: She knows there’s a siege coming, right? >Comforts: Does she need anything? >Profession: She’s a mage, right? Shouldn’t she be at Trimbault Academy or something? >W-wait a sec! Toppel! Oti! You've got a question!!!! P-PLEAAAAASSEEE!!! >Write-In!
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AnonymousID:8zkFIS5+04/30/26(Thu)18:49:02
>>6406033 >Introductions! You’re Anton! Who is she?
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AnonymousID:y6VsiLvc04/30/26(Thu)18:59:33
>>6406033 >Introductions! You’re Anton! Who is she? >Demographics: Where is she from, exactly? Let's get to know each other, shall we?
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AnonymousID:q8AkTEUO04/30/26(Thu)19:04:11
>>6406033 >Introductions! You’re Anton! Who is she? >To the point: What is she doing in the park?
Hey, you might’ve indirectly been involved in kidnapping her, but that doesn’t mean you have to be mean about it! Clearing your throat to get the captive caster’s attention, you give the Mox that winning Anton Smile of yours as you introduce yourself!
ANTON PEAS: that’s your name… don’t wear it out! Feels like it’s been ages since a botched summoning ritual brought you to ZORAL: a fantasy world shrouded in perpetua-
Err, s-sorry, you cough as the Mox watches in muted confusion, force of habit! Anyways, you’re Anton! Who is she? Still gobsmacked by what you can only assume is a far cry from whatever Toppel and Obber were putting her through, the Mox stammers out a quiet response:
“O-O-Oodeel…” She squeaks, Toppel’s potion clearly not doing as much for her nerves as the sorceress suggested, “C-can you let me out, please?”
All in due time, you reply with a laugh! But look, Oodie–can you call her Oodie?
If Oodie has any complaints, she doesn’t voice them.
… Super. So Oodie, you uh… where is she from, anyways? The Mox stirs with discomfort etched into her expression.
“... Wh-why?”
You’re just curious, you answer as you approach with a nonchalant shrug! You, uh… you heard she was hanging out in the park and-
“BIRSTAADT…” She interrupts–eyes widening as she realizes she talked over you! “E-errr, I… I’m from Birstaadt… th-the briarberry town…”
Wow, you answer as a low whistle leaves your lips, quite a jaunt, that!
“... It’s… a Hamlet… right outside Crossroads…”
Ah. Well. Clearing your throat again, you make the rare decision NOT to embarrass yourself any further! Here’s the thing, you begin in a placating tone, you heard through the grapevine that she and some other people are, well… loitering in the park.
You pause as the girl starts to tremble.
M-maybe even lurking? Perhaps? What’s that all about? The girl turns away from your question as panic wells up in her face!
“... N-nothing really…”
Huh. Well, you tried… Clapping your hands together with a sigh, you move to leave the room–or you try to at least! Before you can get very far, you feel a beak dig into your robe and tug it back towards your interviewee! Obber, you hiss, what’s the deal!? She said they weren’t-
That’s when it hits you. What if… what if she isn’t telling you the whole truth!? Scratching your somewhat-hairy chin in thought, you abandon your abandoning and turn your attention back towards your mark!
There’s no way that’s the truth–not unless this is just some random Mox, that is! You’ll admit you wouldn’t put it past Oti and Toppel to kidnap a random woman off the street–you literally met the former in the middle of a kidnapping and the latter, well…
Toppel’s never really struck you as a girl flush with morals…
>>6406183 Steadying yourself with another breath, you begin to conjure up an idea–you know she’s not telling the truth now, of course, but how do you get it outta her?
>Cooperate: Tell her you’re trying to save the city! You’re a hero and you need her help! >Bargain: If she tells you you’ll let her go! And her pals, maybe! >Befriend: Hey, want something to eat? >Intimidate: She wouldn’t like to make you angry… >Stay Silent! She’ll think you’re super angry! >Good Cop/Bad Cop: Bring Toppel or Oti in! That’ll get ‘em on your side! >Your ole’ pal RED has some ideas… >Obber: You’re not sure what he’ll do, but maybe he can help? >Plead: C’mon you really really need this >Authority: Hint at who she’s dealing with! It’d be a REALLY bad idea to not cooperate…! >Write-In!
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AnonymousID:y6VsiLvc05/01/26(Fri)02:34:08
>>6406185 >Cooperate: Tell her you’re trying to save the city! You’re a hero and you need her help! We're the GOOD GUYS. We love being GOOD >Befriend: Hey, want something to eat? And that means you're our FRIEND NOW :^)
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AnonymousID:zP/Hr6Hy05/01/26(Fri)04:20:44
>>6406185 >Cooperate: Tell her you’re trying to save the city! You’re a hero and you need her help! That's exactly right! >Obber: You’re not sure what he’ll do, but maybe he can help? I'm not sure what he would do at all... And I'm not afraid to find out!!!
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AnonymousID:3bZX/ipp05/01/26(Fri)05:37:33
>>6406185 >>Cooperate: Tell her you’re trying to save the city! You’re a hero and you need her help!
Looks like COOPERATION wins the day--let's see how it pays off! >Roll me 1d100 (+3 All The World's a Stage, +2 Favorable Beginnings, +2 Potion'd, -4 These people kidnapped me, -3 Who is this person and what are they doing?) to convince her to open up to you! Best of 3!
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AnonymousID:y6VsiLvc05/01/26(Fri)14:54:26
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>6406383 First roll of the thread, can't be THAT bad
You’ve never been a good judge of character, but this Hedge Mage trembling in front of you like a chihuahua in a blizzard? You don’t think they’re ‘Evil Ringleader’ material. A goon or lackey at worst–and at best?
You’re not up to date on age ranges for Zoral’s races either, but she seems like a kid to you–one who is clearly in over her bulbous, scaly head!
Look, you sigh as the girl’s big, trembling eyes burn into your skull, you don’t know what she and her pals are up to, but that isn’t important right now!
“I-It’s… n-not?” She mutters, casting a wary glance your way!
You have very good reason to believe that Crossroads is going to be under siege soon, you explain, but you and your friends? You’re here to save the day! The wary glance only becomes… warier.
“R-really?”
Yea, you nod, you’re working with the city–err, well, you’re more of an independent contractor really–and you just came back from acquiring a boatload of EMERGENCY SUPPLIES!
“You…” She stammers as the suspicion starts to fade from her voice, “You did that?”
Absolutely, but it’s kind of a long story so she can read the last thread if she wants the details! Check it out here! https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2026/6361939/
Just like that the wariness returns. “... How do you do that? With your words? Was that another language, or-”
“Click.” Obber interjects.
He’s right–you really need to keep your beak to the grindstone! SO, you cough, in the interest of saving lives, what are her friends up to anyways?
Like a stone being dislodged from its spot along a trail, the Mox’s panicked silence gives way to a defeated sigh!
“We… we just want to use our magic for good, y’know?”
Is… that not allowed? You’re not really up to date on magickal politics.
“Click.”
Wait, seriously?
“Yes…” Oodeel mutters in assent, “It starts when you’re young–the moment you show signs of… well, talent, people start to show up: Templars. Wizards. City ‘Officials’ who don’t show your parents any identification… and it just gets worse the older you get…” She continues as her voice grows quieter with each syllable! “They say it’s different in Umberal, but only if you’re rich… and the West, well… Sk-Skogs don’t like magic…”
So let me guess, you interrupt with a frown, she and her pals are, what, just free agents?
“Aiido–h-he’s the leader of the pack–he was a pen pal of mine.” Oodeel answers as the specter of a smile slips onto her face. “He’s a mage too… One day he just… asked to meet. So I did.”
Your frown deepens. He didn’t…
“Hurt me? No, of course not!” She answers almost incredulously! “Turns out he… he was corresponding with a lot of people… l-like me…”
Mages that weren’t too keen on being monitored, huh? The Mox nods.
>>6406401 “None of us came from wealth or status, really.” She shrugs. “So Aiido, he… he suggested we just… work for ourselves. If we all team up, well-”
They’d be a force to be reckoned with, huh? She shakes her head with a weak smile.
“F-force? No, just… we’d look out for each other… a-and others, if they needed help…”
A girl after Volka’s own heart, you think to yourself with a wry grin. Still, it’s hard to believe these folks could warrant such a stir from the city… guess you gotta dig deeper.
So, you continue, what brings them to the park, then? Couldn’t they just… y’know, magick up a cabin or something?
“Oh, we’re… we’re not LIVING in the park…” Oodeel explains as the tension slowly fades from her form, “We, well… w-we have a… a job…”
Ah. And there it is. What job, exactly? The girl squirms a bit in her seat–probably some kind of dentist chair, knowing the kooks you hang out with.
“Under the park, well… th–there’s supposed to be a… a vault…” She begins, still clearly unsure if she wants to tell you or not, “W-we were asked to open it…”
You and Obber exchange a glance. Probably. Hard to tell when the guy’s all-beak–you really oughta get him and Toppel to go back to their original forms…
… or not, actually. Obber looks a lot less creepy as a Maakar bloodsucker.
Oodeel’s eyes nearly pop out as an invisible timer seems to go off in her head! “A-AH!!! A-And I REALLY need to get back to them! Th-they’ll be worried SICK about me a-and… and the job–w-we need to do it SOON or-!”
You’d love to ask her more, but the poor thing’s practically gnawing at whatever’s restraining her to the chair… moreover, how much would she even know about the job anyways? Never hurts to ask, but she’s got a point–once her pals notice she’s gone missing, well…
What do? (Choose 1 or more, but remember: you’re on a schedule!) >What’s in this vault? >Who hired them? >’Under the park’? Do they plan on digging or something? >Tell me more about your friends! >This sounds like a dangerous job. Is it a dangerous job? >Do they need help? >They need to cancel. It’s not a good time for it! >Be right back–you gotta talk to your associates. >Write-In!
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AnonymousID:y6VsiLvc05/01/26(Fri)19:44:22
>>6406403 >They need to cancel. It’s not a good time for it! Let's get right to the point. This is a really bad time to be doing this, man. Maybe wait, I dunno, forever before you do it.
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AnonymousID:q8AkTEUO05/01/26(Fri)19:48:41
>>6406403 >Who hired them? >Write-in: Maybe let's put a fork in this, and you tackle this vault situation AFTER we've managed to break the siege? I don't think it's a good time to do that for your sake, and might be a problem for everyone else too.
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AnonymousID:3bZX/ipp05/02/26(Sat)05:08:28
>>6406403 >They need to cancel. It’s not a good time for it!
>>6406475 >>6406627 >YEA TIME TO RESCHEDULE DUDE >>6406477 >WHO HIRED THEM >ALSO YEA DO IT AFTER THE SIEGE Sorry for the wait--Friday got mad busy! Looks like telling them to call a rain check wins it. Writing later today!
You have no clue what Oodie means by ‘vault’, but you get the feeling she isn’t talking about a piggie bank. Doesn’t matter. Whatever’s inside can probably wait to be freed AFTER the potential sacking of the city, right?
Relaying your rationale to your prisoner, you’re almost taken aback by how swiftly she surrenders!
“Yes!” She squeaks with an emphatic nod, “Y-you’re absolutely right, Anton! If Crossroads is on the cusp of a siege, well… t-then we definitely can’t open any vaults! Nope! None!”
Hey hey! Mission ACCOMPLISHED, then, you remark as you stoop down to give Obber a high-beak! And hand!
“CLICK!” https://youtu.be/Z-8kpqYhMSE
“Oh… but wait…” The Mox mutters as the excitement fades from her face, “Th-they… they won’t listen to me… probably…”
Really? Aren’t they your pals?
“Y-yes, but…” She stammers, “But Aiido’s the leader–and he said this job would be really l-lucrative… and we REALLY need money, s-so… s-sorry…”
Okay, you groan, maybe… maybe if she tells them what you told her?
The Mox lights up once more! “Y-you’re right! Aiido’s not dumb! Or mean! He’ll listen, I’m sure of it!”
Alriiiight! Up top!
“Click.” https://youtu.be/Z-8kpqYhMSE
“D’ohhh, wait! Oh I’m SO STUPID! Stupid, stupid Oodeel!!”
This time it’s your turn to join her in looking morose. Oh brother, you sigh, what’s wrong now?
“W-well…” Oodeel explains with an apologetic smile, “I, erm… w-well I can’t exactly send them a message in this… well, wherever we are…”
So you’ll get her out! Easy-peasy!
“Yes! Yes, let’s do that! I’ll send the message immediately!”
“Click.” https://youtu.be/Z-8kpqYhMSE
“Wait, what if… what if they’ve already departed? I… I might not be able to get the message to them if–”
Would they really leave without her? She was helping prepare, right?
“Yes! Yes I was! I was going to gather rations! There’s no way they’d go on a deep delve without those!” “Clack.” https://youtu.be/Z-8kpqYhMSE “D’OH WAIT THEY CAN JUST CONJURE RATIONS! STUPID!” C-can’t we just rush over and stop them!? “You’re RIGHT!” “CLICK.” https://youtu.be/Z-8kpqYhMSE “B-but what if it’s too laaaatte!?” It’s fine, you laugh in a placating tone, she hasn’t been in here for that long–if she knows where to go you’ll have plenty of time to head them off! They probably didn’t even leave yet! “Y-yea..” “Cli-” https://youtu.be/Z-8kpqYhMSE “ANTON! Any luck!? I spent HOURS doping that dope, so-” DAMN IT, TOPPEL!
>>6406825 “So…” Oti remarks after you finish explaining the situation, “A vault beneath the park… not outside the realm of possibility in these parts…”
“More common than you’d think!” Chirps Toppel as the now-freed Oodeel cowers at your side, “Leftovers from the Nuugal, Ospeerli, Kiitorn! Weapons, enchanted artifacts… and lots of traps, of course. The city works tirelessly to seal them away and out of the public eye, but they’re there! Quite a lucky find for these mages!”
“I-It’s f-for… our employer…” Oodeel whimpers. “B-but that sounds… nice…”
Yea, about that, you interject with a reassuring, albeit impatient smile, who hired them again? The Mox squirms at the question.
“Th-they spoke to Aiido…” She begins in an apologetic tone, “B-but they didn’t… l-leave a name. That’s wh-what Aiido told us, at least…”
“Sounds like a COWARD to me! Won’t give their name… foists tasks onto others… typical...” Rezalith remarks with a disapproving snort!
“More likely someone deficient in scruples.” Oti sighs with a shake of his head, “But you’re correct–they must know something about the vault’s contents if they’ve opted to send in a pack of magic-slinging vagabonds.”
Your ex-captive frowns. “H-hey…”
“Click.”
Obber's right, you begin with a confident nod, whatever’s in there should stay in there… for now, at least!
“Good thinking!” Toppel adds with a toothy grin, “We can plunder it for ourselves while everyone else is busy!”
You’ll burn that bridge when you get there. Oodie, can you tell us where the entrance to the Vault is?
“B-better!” She says with a smile! “I c-can just s-share the information directly into y-your mind!” The fishy-looking thing blinks. “O-or I can lead you there myself… I can speak to my friends…”
“Sure,” Toppel scoffs with a Rezzie-like eyeroll, “And lead us right into an ambush…”
“Wh-wha!? No! I… I wouldn’t!”
Good grief. Well the party’s been briefed, and with luck Oodeel’s friends are taking their sweet time… what’s the move here? >Ask about their employer–were they going to meet them after opening the vault, or? >Oti, Toppel–anything helpful you can add about these Vaults? >Oodie, should you know anything about her pals in advance? >Let’s move out! (Who ya’ takin’? CHOOSE NONE, SOME, OR ALL! REZZIE/OTI/TOPPEL/OBBER/OODEEL)? >Write-In!
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AnonymousID:zP/Hr6Hy05/02/26(Sat)20:21:46
>>6406827 >Ask about their employer–were they going to meet them after opening the vault, or? Whoever they are, they seem to think the siege is the right distraction to send some punks in to swipe some kind of loot. >Let’s move out! (Who ya’ takin’? CHOOSE NONE, SOME, OR ALL! REZZIE/OTI/TOPPEL/OBBER/OODEEL)? We'll take Rez, Oti, and Oodalolly. Tops and Obber can go attend to other shit for us, maybe investigate this employer?
>>6406832 >>6407055 >>6407057 >EMPLOYER >REZZIE, OTI, OODEEL--YOU'RE WITH ME >TOPPEL AND OBBER--SEE WHAT YOU CAN DIG UP! Writing! Sorry, yesterday got a lil busy
Whatever! Anybody isn’t leading nobody into an ambush! But that brings up an interesting point–Oodeel, did this mysterious employer mention, like, a drop-off point or anything? Y’know, for the payout? The Mox’s already-enlarged eyes puff out to even bigger proportions!
“W-well…” She mutters as Oti and Toppel exchange a glance, “A-Aiido received half already…” She explains, slowly retracing what happened in her head, “A-and I think they said something about k-knowing when the job is done?”
“Understandable. The collective magical discharge from a vault being unlocked would make for quite a beacon…” Toppel mutters, earning a nod from her beau. “To those expecting one, that is.”
So this guy and his crew-
“N-no, just one guy!” Oodeel interjects with an apologetic laugh! “H-he approached Aiido on his own–s-some kind of c-collector…?”
You give the ache forming in your temples a preemptive rub. So he negotiated on his own, you narrate with a furrowed brow, that doesn’t prove anything!
“No… no it doesn’t…” Oti sighs as he joins you in the headache club! “You do realize this ‘Collector’ can merely dispose of you all once you’ve cleared the way to the Vault, yes?”
The Mox averts her massive gaze as embarrassment floods her face. “... W-we can handle ourselves…”
The Chytree isn’t convinced. “I wonder how many bands of misguided magelings chose those as their last words... No matter. Whether the vault remains sealed or not, Anton, we’d do well to keep vigilant. Plunderers of ancient vaults are rarely charitable.”
You can’t help but blink at that. Oti, you begin as a wry grin slips onto your face, is… is he worried about these gu-
“Finish that syllable and it’ll be the last one you utter.” He snaps, turning his attention towards the wall, much to Toppel’s delight. “Every moment we tarry is one closer to the vault being unlocked. You, girl. Focus?”
The question coupled with Oti’s stony stare takes the sorceress by surprise! “Ah! E-err, R-restoration…”
“Excellent.”
“Paired with my Enhancements we should be able to tackle anything!” Toppel chirps as her brother clicks in assent! Yea, about that, you mutter with a deepening frown, you’re gonna have her and her bro sit back on this one…
“Wh-wha!?” Sputters the sorceress as her eyes come close to Oodeel’s size, “B-but… but you NEED me! You ALL need me!”
This time it’s your turn to exchange glances with Oti.
“No we don’t.” Yea, not really.
The Durher’s frantic grin fades a bit. “B-but… but you like me… r-right?”
>>6407324 You’d LIKE her and her brother to take up the rear guard, you explain in a diplomatic tone, putting the girl at ease somewhat! You, Oti, and Rezzie’ll watch Oodie’s back–they’re in charge of figuring out anything they can about this ‘Employer’!
“Nothing to it!” Toppel croons with a spirited nod! “Just point us to where your last meeting took place, girl, and we’ll hunt them down like Viislan Pathfinders!
“R-right!” Oodeel answers with a hint of relief in her voice, “Let… let me send you the memory…”
“So we’re the ones going into the Vault, hmm?” Rezzie remarks as Oodeel’s eyes light up with magic! “I do hope this will be less boring than our last task…”
“You’re more than welcome to take point when we arrive,” Answers Oti with a devious smile in his tone, “Surely a being of your caliber can thwart a gauntlet of ancient traps…”
“Tch! Easy!” The demon retorts with a flick of her tail! “We’ll be done before dinnertime! Count on it!”
Toppel’s eyes flicker in glowing recognition upon receiving Oodeel’s info, and with a nod and a wink your party departs–your group to the vault and its would-be pilferers, and the Gransee Siblings hot on the trail of their employer!
Your trip to BRAITHWIID PARK is relatively uneventful, mainly due to Oti’s generous teleportation spell. Even in the wake of growing civil unrest the park remains somewhat… peaceful–the distant sounds of looting and panic replaced by the gentle melody of the midday breeze passing through the canopy overhead coupled with the babbling of a distant brook!
If anyone else is sampling the outdoors with you, they choose not to be seen–but if any of your jolly entourage cares, well, they don’t speak up about it!
“J-just down h-here…” Oodeel chitters, the poor girl rubberbanding between leading the charge and slowing down to stay close to your pack. “W-watch, um… y-your step… pl-please…”
A timely and considerate warning, but one that doesn’t matter as you tumble down a steep bank and into a muddy bank below! As your pals float down to meet you, no one offers to help you back to your mud-caked feet…
THANKS, guys! You were a HUGE help back there!
“You’re the Geomancer.” Oti shrugs as Rezalith stifles a giggle, “Didn’t want to ‘cramp your style’.”
Funny. Funny guy over here!
“Th-there should be a… y-yes! There!”
Nestled between a few boulders wedged into the riverside sits a crack–though that’d be an overstatement, you think. Even if you could see where you were going it’d be a stretch to slip inside… and you almost do so until you remember the little gift KNODD imparted upon you!
“W-wow…!” Oodeel remarks as the offending boulders bend out of the way, “G-Geomancy…”
>>6407326 “Far simpler than teleporting through indeed…” Remarks your favorite Chytree as he gives your muddy shoulder a pat as he leads the way in!
“That GOD stuff still makes you smell funny, AnTICK.” Adds Rezzie as she slips inside too! Well she smells like a 24 Hour Grease Fire, so-
… Ah. She’s gone. Dang it, you really shoulda’ had that one ready to go!
Greeted by a musty bouquet of earth-scented humidity, your face scrunches up with displeasure as your COOL HAT is battered by large, muddy drops from the cavern ceiling!
“S-so…” Oodeel begins, her mousy voice still echoing all along the damp tunnel walls, “Th-the vault is… is protected by a hidden gate…”
What, like the one you passed to slip in here? The Mox shakes her head.
“N-no… O-Ouxlee d-did some research–oh, my, er… OUR friend, that is… s-she said the path is obscured by illusion magic…”
“Naturally. The passphrase?” Inquires Oti with the patience of a customer in a coffee shop queue.
“Oh, uh-”
Hang on, you frown, why can’t we just… y’know, dispel the magic? If it’s illusioned and all..
“A sound idea,” Begins the Chytree, “But breaking an illusion and ‘solving’ one are two different processes entirely. Dispelling the illusion might clear the path, but a proper passphrase will deactivate it and activate other adjacent enchantments.”
“Y-yes…” Nods Oodeel, “L-like extending a tunnel or draining water in the way…”
… Or activating traps? Both Oti and Oodeel nod in unison.
“Yes, but brute-forcing magical barriers can lead to… complications as well.” Oti frowns. “And if we don’t run into any recently-bored tunnels or evidence of magical mischief, it’s safe to say our predecessors didn’t brute force things either.”
“Th-though these vaults have a habit of r-resetting… a-after being unlocked…” Adds the Mox. “S-safety precautions…”
“Why bother?” Rezzie grumbles as she kicks the back of your boot, “These clowns are ahead of us. Rip open a path for us with your powers, Anton. Chop chop!”
Fun as that sounds, you don’t like the idea of triggering other traps with your brute force… Oodie, you cough, what’s the uh… she was gonna say a passphrase?
“Ah, right…” The sorceress replies, eyes closed in thought, “It… was a r-riddle, I think? ‘I can be light or heavy, but never solid. A gift to earth’s children, but a bane to the squalid.’”
More riddles. And here you thought you were done with em’ after the last thread’s misadventures! Coming to a halt in front of a vast rocky wall (which Rezalith wastes no time in kicking), you decide to…
>GEOMANCE! You’ll make your own tunnel! >Try the RIDDLE! >Oti? Anything he can do? >Try to find ANOTHER ROUTE! >Rezzie, think you can get us through? >BIISII’S BAG! >Write-In!
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AnonymousID:y6VsiLvc05/04/26(Mon)00:47:00
>>6407327 >Try the RIDDLE! I'm like 90% sure the answer to that would be a rainstorm. They can be heavy or light, but they'd never be solid. The earth loves rain, but people without shelter (the squalid) would hate it.
>>6407482 I don't blame ya, brother--this quest is a slog... I'd know! Also probably gonna update this later on Tues so keep that shit comin
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AnonymousID:9Ab+oD1F05/04/26(Mon)02:39:15
>>6407504 It's not boredom or sadness or annoyance I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but it just gives that odd empty "deflated" feeling. The kind that makes you want to sigh. But it's very clearly not sadness or boredom. I'm not sure how to call it.
>>6407455 >>6407480 >RIDDLE ME THIS Gonna call the vote for this one as well as the answer anon guessed! Ran into a few computer troubles so I'm not on my main rig--update might not happen til' Tuesday while I get shit fixed... or maybe I'll just go for it on my laptop, we'll see. Writing!
Your misadventures in Trier’s Maze leave your mind and mouth malleable–so much so that Oodeel’s riddle scarcely leaves her large lips before an answer slips free from yours!
‘RAINSTORM’...
It’s almost automatic, your response, and as you let the word echo across the chamber, all you receive in return is an unnerving silence…
AND a kick in the side! OW!
“There’s no RAIN underground, AnTOOL! Get a clue!” Snarls Rezalith! B-but, you whine as you try and fail to guard your flank, it’s… y-you’re trying to answer the rid-
“Two for FLINCHING!”
Just before she can ready another assault, however, the cavern fills with a low, grinding rumble… one that sends your teeth a-chatter and your bones-a…a-batter? As the sound subsides, no one dares make a move–drat, you think as the silence grows downright uncomfortable, you should’ve asked how many TRIES you ha-
Your thoughts are derailed when you sense something falling from above… MANY somethings!
A gut-wrenching SHRIEK leaves your lips as the ceiling collapses, an-
…d lands on your COOL HAT with a few harmless ‘plop’s!
“Blehhh….” Rezzie groans as Oti and Oodeel shake off like magical dogs, “Water…”
You’re about two seconds away from asking ‘water you talking about’ when you realize what happened… that and you’re pretty sure the demon would give you a dead arm if you tried! Probing your hat with your fingers brings you to the same conclusion everyone else shortly arrives at…
“Ah…” Oti remarks with a hint of a laugh in his tone, “A ‘rainstorm’ indeed…” “N-not bad…” Oodeel adds, eyes wide with childlike delight! “F-first try!”
HEH, you respond as you tip the droplets from your cap, wasn’t THAT big of a deal!
“Correct, it wasn’t.” Adds Oti with the usual ire, “We’ve taken our first step, it would seem… we’d best hurry before the way closes again.”
He doesn’t have to tell you twice… leading the charge through a freshly-opened passage, you can’t help but marvel a bit when you’re greeted by the sound of water trickling onto stone from above like Mother Nature’s orchestra… Hitting the stones at different pitches and rhythms, you almost want to take your time and listen for a bit… but you think twice when Rezalith ‘accidentally’ steps on your heel!
“Got a deadline to meet, remember? Idiot.”
Oh, NOW she cares about missions? Ducking the ensuing attempt at flicking your ear, your newly-formed path delves deeper into the caverns… and as the air grows colder and wetter, you emerge into…
>A vast, damp chamber dominated by several statues and a distant mechanical drone… >A cavern split by a rushing river–you would’ve been swept away if you didn’t collapse face-first into some ruins jutting out! >A towering room with walls covered in holes large enough to stick your hand into…
I'ma check this in the morning and roll for it then if need be. See you alley cats then!
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AnonymousID:y6VsiLvc05/05/26(Tue)03:27:07
>>6407737 Fehhh. >A cavern split by a rushing river–you would’ve been swept away if you didn’t collapse face-first into some ruins jutting out! Just gonna vote for this before I go to bed, even if I know we won't get an update for a sec.
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AnonymousID:q8AkTEUO05/05/26(Tue)03:27:28
>>6407732 >A vast, damp chamber dominated by several statues and a distant mechanical drone… I love drones
Shivers take hold of your body as you’re greeted by a rush of cold, wet air emanating from above–the force behind the gales causing an unnerving rattling to ring out from the chamber ahead! As you take a few tenuous steps onto the puddle-slick stone, it’s only after a few more drops of icy condensation pitter-patter against your hat that you realize you’re still below ground. But with how the wind is blowing and the rocks around you are rattl-
OW, FUCK!
STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 37!
Your cautious advance is thwarted by a particularly-egregious pillar in your path. One that–had you not vigorously explored with your toe and face–appears to be some kind of…
… Statue? Oodie. Oti. Get a load of this!
The mages descend upon your discovery like a pack of dogs on a dropped plate at Thanksgiving! Pouring over your find with intense stares and periodic ‘hmm’s, the two otherwise remain totally silent as they appraise the obstacle!
S-so, you cough as Rezalith watches from your side with a bemused grin, what is it?
“A statue.” Oti dryly replies. “PUU’LRII in origin.” The Chytree pauses. “... Ancient Mzz’goe’virr. Not as dated as the Nuugal, but…” A grunt leaves his unseen lips as he ushers you forward. “Here–feel the head.”
O-Oti-kun…!
“... Stop acting stupid.”
A quick probe of the statue tells you everything you need to know: hard to say if it’s an abstract piece or the subject was wearing a helmet, but once your hand brushes over a cluster of six oblong protrusions it’s hard to argue with Oti’s assessment!
Ancient Mzz’goe’virr, huh?
“Indeed.” Nods the sage, “Their people once dominated the seas–an empire stretched across Zoral’s many continents–but they spread too thin. Most of the Mzz’goe’virr are the children of the Puu’lrii Diaspora. Cultural driftwood.”
“They had a whole empire and lost it?” Rezalith remarks with a derisive snort. “How?”
“Th-that’s still a, erm… m-mystery…” Oodeel chimes in with a nervous giggle. “S-some believe th-they..”
“They unearthed something in their homeland.” Oti interjects with the usual grace. “Something that brought the whole empire to its knees… and sent its people fleeing across the land.” His glowing gaze darkens. “This occurred long before The Darkening, of course–a shame we were never able to conduct a proper autopsy.”
That’s, uh… that’s bananas... The Chytree’s eyes flicker.
“No. ‘PUU’LRII.”
“Hm.”
Sensing her chance, Rezalith takes center stage with a puzzled look on her face! Hey, you begin, something wrong?
“... Statue’s magic.” She reports as she gives the offending obelisk a few cursory sniffs.
>>6408163 “C-contamination, m-maybe?” Oodeel suggests, earning another grunt from her fellow mage. “... Or… m-maybe it’s part of the next task?”
Yeesh, you HOPE not! Wandering a few steps away as your sorcerers work their magic, you get about three steps in bef-
OW!!
STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 38!
“Does the concept of ‘caution’ not exist in your plane?” Grumbles Oti as he drifts over to your staggered form! “Contain your OAFISHNESS–there’s no telling what we might stumble int-”
“W-wait a moment…!”
Oodeel’s interruption snaps you all back into reality, and the ensuing survey proves what you already began to suspect: the chamber stretches about as far as a football field… that’s not what you expected, mind, but what you DID expect was its contents: standing in what you guess used to be neat, orderly rows are statues–each one’s outfit slightly different than the last!
One’s helmet has a dent carved into it. Another is missing a pair of eyes on the right side. A few statues are even missing some limbs, but the vacant areas on the statue are too smooth and precise to be unintentional!
A hasty account of the whole room leads you to two unnerving conclusions: first, no two statues are the same! Second: they all emit a dash of magickal energy… especially one specimen found on the far side of the chamber! Oh, and the far corner of the room is dominated by a big pond–no statues or secret tunnels, though.
“Yes…” Nods Oti as you conclude your survey, “No doubt about it–this one’s contamination is far more potent…”
What do you think it means, you ask as you give your chin an idle scratch, some kinda starting point, maybe? The Chytree answers with a weary sigh.
“Sound logic, but who knows?” His disco ball-sized eyes fall upon your newest party member. “You. Did your associate mention anything pertaining to a room like this?”
“I… s-sorry, no…” Oodeel answers with a defeated sigh! “W-we only learned about the entry riddle…”
Makes sense, you shrug, if someone knew how to do all these ‘challenges’ they probably woulda’ just kept all the loot for themselves, right? Oti continues to frown.
“Unless they wanted to keep it sealed… but even then they wouldn’t be sharing answers, would they?”
Yea…
“What are we even wasting time for?” Rezzie groans as she kicks a pebble along the muddy floor! “And don’t give me that ‘It could mess up the passages’ crap again!”
Just… pause for a second, you sigh as you give the demon’s luscious hair a gentle pat, and listen. Does she hear that?
Rezalith’s face scrunches up as she tunes in. Then frowns.
“... No.”
Exactly, you reply, earning a twinkle from the corner of Oti’s eye, if the last group bored a hole through the wall we would’ve found it, right? And if they teleported-
>>6408165 “We’d have picked up some residual magic.” Concludes the Chytree with a hint of pride in his tone. “Very astute, Anton.”
So, you finish, clapping your hands together, the last group probably figured out the solution–and if they can get through the right way, well…
“Then we can too, naturally!” Rezzie cackles with wide-eyed delight! “Our combined intellect–mine, mostly–dwarfs that of these measly mageling’s! Very well then… we shall pummel this puzzle…”
Giving the girl’s head another pat, your efforts to avoid addressing the elephant in the room are soundly thwarted by the timid Mox!
“B-but… but what even… i-is the puzzle, exactly… th-that’s the um… q-question…”
Oodeel’s innocent utterance is enough to awaken ire in your ally! “H-hey, YEA! How are we supposed to solve a puzzle if we don’t even know how to start it, huh!? You’re just trying to sound cool, aren’t you, AnTOOL!? You and your ‘Nyyyerrr, erf the lahhhsssht grewwwwup’!-”
“Anton may be ‘trying to sound cool’,” Begins Oti in a firm, placating tone, “But abusing him won’t get us anywhere.”
Rezzie frowns. “... It’ll make ME feel better…”
I-It won’t make YOU feel better!
Welp, it just goes to show: if you wanna solve a puzzle, ya’ gotta figure out what it is first! Mhm, words to live by… anyways, what’s the first step here? You haven’t been crushed by a giant rock or attacked by Bog Leeches yet, so…
>Cast some MAGIC on that statue with the MOST magical contamination! >Investigate the POND some more! >See if the WALLS have anything useful to add! >Try to MOVE the MOST MAGICAL STATUE! >EXAMINE the statues FURTHER! >CRITIQUE the statues–maybe the solution is ART? >Try to TALK to a STATUE! >Screw this, GEOMANCE a way out! >BIISII’S BAG! >CONTACT TOPPEL! Maybe she knows something useful! >Write-In!