/r9k/ — /r9gay/ - #2712

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>>84817821 (OP)
I thought I lost you niggas for a second

Finally had my first experience. Basically my neighbor has been doing this "hate my wife" boomer routine even though he's only in his late 40's (I think) and we've been hanging out and drinking beer in his garage. My gf and I broke up recently and I think he basically let me find a box of tapes he had which I thought was funny because I'm barely old enough that my first porn experience was a nude mag and I watched some actual porn on VHS as a kid. I made some offhand comment about feet cuz I thought it meant he wanted me to fuck his wife and he just asked a bunch of sexual questions which didn't really go anywhere. Long story short I started using my ex's butt plug on the way to the store and things like that, and I ended up shaving my whole body and going next door with her lingerie under my jeans and showed him my feet (fishnets visible). He wasn't into it but he started rubbing my thigh. Ended up taking off my pants in his garage and giving him the worst blow job ever, I know it was toothy as fuck and was not working. Kept asking if it was OK and he was too nice to say no lol. But eventually he turned me around and sort of laid on top of me on this shitty pleather couch. I had to tell him to slow down a couple of times coz I wanted to get used to it and he didn't really listen which I didn't like. It took him about 5 mins to nut and he kept saying "should I get a condom" and finally I asked "do you have one" because I was thinking damn this guy could have fucked skanks idk and he says no. Lmao. I just said hurry cum in me and he started grunting. I fucked back up against him and tried my best to squeeze my anus on the upswing or whatever. He seemed super happy. I ended up staying in his basement because "we drank too much" and he cooked us (and his wife) breakfast and I let him do it again after that. I went to the bathroom and tried to squeeze his cum out but there was nothing. Ended up letting him do it again 3 more times. I'm planning on going back tomorrow.

>>84817960
we don't fuck anyone here sir

>>84817982
Is this a wholesome thread?

>>84817960
sorry that happened
or happy for you idk

>>84817990
yeah it gets real wholesome when the thread schizos have their daily melties for hours on end spamming the thread
or when someone breathes about sex and several people tell them unilaterally to kill themselves in the worst way possible
and of course the wholesomeness of longwinded greentexts that usually end with "and that's why i'm killing myself"
that kind of wholesome

>>84817960
Sounds like the worst porno ever so fake and gay, or maybe given the thread we're in fake and straight. Surely someone here could come up with something a little better than that

>>84818029
>it was really mundane
nigger whoring yourself out to your neighbor is not "mundane" even among the normiest circles. that's weird-ass territory. i once had a cougar knock on my door and try to flirt/fuck me a few years back at the apartment building i lived in, and i was creeped the fuck out. it's a bizarre ass thing to do. good for you it worked out but it's not "mundane"

>>84818054
>FWB
whore term. back to /soc/ with your slut ass

>>84818077
>He's married.
yes, homewrecker whore.
>meaningless word babble
back to the drawing board, loser!

please delete the rest of your garbage posts while you're at it thx

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totaI chud victory

time to whip out desuarch to see what i missed

honestly quite inedible

>>84818001
i like the funny man who pretends he knows me and threatens me IRL. Still waiting for him and his "OPs" to cave my skull in like he promised. Can't just be gay gotta be the right flavor of gay.

>>84818162
i post here semi-frequently and the only two thread personalities i can consistently recognize is hue and meow: the first because his script is pretty rigid; and the second because he says meow a lot.

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I shoulda stayed in school instead of doing schizophrenic vector design art... Being a doctor or something.

Beats being an onlyfans whore making 200 dollars a month tbf so it could always be worse.

>>84818308
shit, i'm just happy to work at all. most of my life i accepted i was going to be a loser NEET until i died. the fact i'm even a low level wagie is an accomplishment. i guess the point is to be happy with what you have.

off topic from anything but I kinda wanna get a tan for the summer

not sure if brown boys with brown hair are commercially marketable though

>>84818323
I suppose yes, you're right.

Congrats on being a contributing member of society, unironically and without sarcasm it's good.

>>84818344
tans are nice. bet you'd look plenty marketable, anon

The important thing is that Elon Musk got to be the world's first trillionaire. Gas prices, wars, climate, AI, whatever who cares. These are temporary issues. They're dated. In a few years, it won't matter. There's only ONE world's first trillionaire. EVER. Elon gets to be the ONLY ONE, FOREVER. The first trillionaire. The only one, ever. No matter what else might happen to the world, I can rest easy knowing that Elon Musk is the Only World's First Trillionaire, Forever and Ever.

Who wants to watch the USA 250 UFC CHAMPION EXHIBITION POWERED BY SPACEXAI with me tomorrow night? :)

>>84818438
bet i was a zimbabwean trillionaire long before his poser ass

>>84818438
well shut up bruh, he probably earned it! Just put in the effort and one day you can become a trillionaire too

we'll all be trillionaires after hyperinflation hits

>>84818519
not me, I'm going to be a septillionaire

>>84818519
But you'll never be the FIRST ONE. That's the important thing

hello boys i hope you are well

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>>84818709
I've been laughing like a schizophrenic retard on my computer for the last 30 minutes so yea, I'm pretty good :D

might make some cereal with banana.... yummers

>>84818756
I love taking HRT. Femboys are so valid!
>virgin autistic man moder

>>84818756
sounds like a good time, anon. yummers indeed

>>84818756
you on the left (i like your top)

>>84818768
Life cereal is delicious
>>84818769
>you on the left (i like your top)
It's true, I look like that and am a top.

>>84817960
This sounds more sad than hot

>>84817960
Wow another disgusting american gay story.

I jerked off when I wasn't even horny and now I just feel dirty and like I lost a bit of my soul

should i drink orange cream flavored coffee or cinnamon hazelnut? o_o

>>84819899
>like I lost a bit of my soul
don't worry anon, cum regenerates

>>84819906
How about neither you prancing lala homo man?

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>>84819906
PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE

>>84819906
black coffee
cream is ok if you're a sissy, but no flavored creamers

men are as sweet as the things they drink *sips vanilla cinnamon cola*

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I thought you guys liked sissies

>>84819972
>this is a 5/10 for r9gay

I wonder how much of the economy and inflation is being skewed by Elon alone

>>84819923
i wish

>>84819933
interesting you like your coffee how you like your men... black!

somebody wants their ass whooped

it's a good thing I wasn't at the pride parade. Everyone was so attractive...a goblin like on camera would have been too much

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Where battletech bf miauouau

Y'all ugly ass hos wouldn't no what to do at Pride anywayz

I wonder where my walk will take me today no like I am low on food so I don't need to do groceries. I guess the same path as usual and hope that I can see cats but it's nice out so maybe I'll wrap around and go another way or just walk until I can't anymore and take a bus home. It's always been a dream of mine to walk to my grandparents place but that's supposedly a 12 hour walk so probably not a good idea

>>84820712
where do you live? Definitely not America because they don't have walkable cities. Yours must be a nice place to walk in

>>84818162
I've had people here threaten to dox me and kill me regularly but it's usually because I'm under 6ft tall or just being ugly in general

For some reason being ugly and hitting on guys seems to attract a lot of threats

>>84819906
Real man drink their mud water without any sweetener or flavor. The more it makes you want to puke the better.

I said I work, I squirt, I jerk

men suck. Women rule. I wish I was one of the gurlz.

I really hate ru paul Drag Queen gays

>>84820419
You must be really fucking ugly then because everyone who goes to pride looks crazy ugly. You're like elephantman level it seems.

>84821077
thanks...probably. I have no energy to insult you back, the people I saw were good average looking to pretty, plenty of twinks, good looking bears and girls with curly hair. The guys were shirtless

Classic Cheerleader Effect