/x/ — To me, my /x/-men

>>42510559 (OP)
Idk intuition or some shit

I can teleport one inch in any direction

>>42510559 (OP)
Man I’m just snecko nothing special

anyone who reads this is now gay

that's my power

I can manifest physical objects I strongly desire. Somewhat clairvoyant and becoming more so. Influence others like Jedi mind trick/force persuasion.

i have the ability to discern the truth through a long-lost form of "wisdom from experience"
i have experienced almost everything and therefore can deduce the real meaning and truth behind anything
i call it oldfaggius nostromus

long fingernails

I have high levels of synchronicity with other lifeforms, I get a lot of strange interactions with other animals while I’m meditating, and animals and bugs are constantly falling down in front of me, twitching and convulsing around like they’re having a seizure, and then dying.
I can move energy around in my body, I can actually feel it, and synchronicities happen at a high rate when I do it.
People frequently mention seeing mimics of me and then being confused when they run into me after just seeing me somewhere else.
When I empty my mind with meditation, I get the urge to write a lot of profound stuff, as if some entity is “possessing” me and influencing my writing.
I can predict the timing of shows and movies that I watch. I can sort of feel the “flow” of a movie and know exactly when the camera is going to turn, or what direction the actor will be walking, or when a jump scare is going to happen; I believe it’s because I’m in tune with the collective consciousness and my body is using the information from other people who have already seen the media.

>>42510559 (OP)
I can fuck your mom.
I can fuck everyone's mom.

>>42510559 (OP)
I have the ability to read people's souls. But it's not extra-normal or supernatural, it's called pattern recognition. I also have high proficiency in manipulation, again that's not supernatural it's just strategic deflection and mirroring of sentiment during high emotion opportunities to cause cognitive dissonance in others.

My special power is that I am a dickhead. So to that end I will decline your invitation to become an X-Men, X is a female chromosome so no thanks. I will create an arch-enemy villain group call the Y-Chads. All other villains, to me

>>42510559 (OP)
I can harness the power of schizophrenia

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>>42510559 (OP)
I'm from pol and biz and I'm selling schizophrenia horoscopes via telepathy for 20€. Also snails for 5 bucks.

>>42510559 (OP)
What about me? I've got the half crescent on both palms, am left-handed, hazel eyes and have had many spiritual/paranormal experiences in my life.

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>>42511855
>I will create an arch-enemy villain group call the Y-Chads
Wouldn't that make you the /y/-chads on 4chan? Isn't that an oxymoron and you're just admitting to be boy-loving gay faggots?

My /x/-men would be happy to consider you our enemy in that case.
>"Scott, start the /x/-Jet."

>>42513256
>Wouldn't that make you the /y/-chads on 4chan? Isn't that an oxymoron and you're just admitting to be boy-loving gay faggots?

Ah fuck I didn't consider that correlation. Damn you professor /x/avier! You may have won this time... But next time, you will rue the day!

>>42510559 (OP)
Xavier is one of the most powerful mutants.

>>42513652
Not powerful enough to stand while peeing.

>>42513667
He can make one xmen to drink his piss.

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>>42513670
So that's why Jean is always around.
>"Yeah Scott, got to keep her here and keep her under my mental control just in case ... uh ... she turns into Dark Phoenix ... yeah that's it."
>"Now Jean if you could come in here and assist me with ... uh ... Cerebro. I have need of your ... abilities."

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I am Captain P.P., also known as, PISS PROTECTOR!

My origin story is this:

> I moved to Denver, CO.
> The Nuggets won the Finals.
> Friends and I go downtown to party.
> I get a really strong urge to pee.
> Friends tell me to chill, but I beg them to go to a alleyway to let me piss it out.
> As soon as we get 1 block away gun shots are fired.
> Someone tried to do a mass shooting and my bladder protected us.


As a member of the /x/ men, I will protect our crew with my danger sensing bladder!!

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>>42516123
>seems legit
I can't see any other explanation for this than this man genuinely has /x/ powers.

Personal question, is the urge to pee more intense the closer you are to the danger? For example if someone pointed a gun at your face at point blank range would the urge to pee become so intense it would be uncontrollable?

If so this sounds like an even more useful power than you first assumed, since we can use it to estimate not only the existence of a proximate threat, but the range.

This is just one example of my ability to see potential and how you might get maximum use from your powers in ways you may not have considered, and though careful training I can help you master and finely tune this /x/traordinary ability.

I should also ask whether you have suffered any ridicule or unfair prejudice as a result of your abilities manifesting involuntarily in front of normies. Rest assured my fellow /x/-man, you will be among friends who understand to help and support you through your feelings of being different. We have all been there. Some people are bigoted and just do not understand that we are on their side and only use our powers for good. But we must keep raising awareness that when someone like us happens to cause a psionic blast that totals their car, or we accidentally piss on their carpet, it was never intentional and we the /x/-men are on their side and here to defend humanity from the forces of evil with our very lives.

>>42510559 (OP)
BOASTIN' DANK MEMES

>>42510559 (OP)
>To me, my ex-men
troon

>>42510559 (OP)
my ennui is strong enough to depress everyone in a 15 foot radius

>>42510559 (OP)
MY SPECIAL POWER IS EVERYONE CAN HEAR THE VOICES IN MY HEAD

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>>42516694
Touché.

No we are not a those kind of /x/-men, and our 'ice guy' isn't a homo before you ask. We have real biological women as well as men, but we're not going to change our name to /x/-persons or some shit either precisely because we're not a pack of rainbow flag waving politically correct faggots..

Trannies need not apply.

We will defend the Earth against evil, and that includes degenerates of all stripes. We will defend the children from sickos with our dying breath if necessary, and like the brave /x/-man above with the bladder-based powers, down to our last drop of piss.

>>42510559 (OP)
my superpower is schizophrenia. My other superpower is fact checking. Hold my beer

>>42510559 (OP)
bro, fact checking. 1. if you could synthesize vitamin c, you would be doxxing yourself. I looked. Nope. 2. you can't. If you really give a shit go and check with a doctor. 3. If your mom says you generate vitamin c, then you trust your mom, congrats, I don't need to say anything. 4. You probably didn't severe any nerves or anything. If it hurt, the nerves are working. If it didn't, and you have no sensation and cannot move that body part? Cool, yeah that's plausible.

No sunburn does exist, but it means going out in the sun will eventually give you cancer pretty damn quickly and you should still wear sun protection, I personally prefer not to use sunblock. Either way, you wouldn't hide that, it'd be that thing you tell people as a cool story. Sorry to filter you bud, but if we're gonna do paranormal stuff here, we probably should filter the retarded with what we know as true. Cool larp though.

>>42510559 (OP)
my hair lights up

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I am the last TimeLord.

>>42517159
1. I had the same reaction because our ancestors famously lost that ability some time ago and humans, apes, etc. can't do it, while pretty much any other animal can. It's not publicly known information in my case because my Dad works for the military and my Mom is a doctor. They always took me to the medical facilities where my father works. I never questioned it until I started to suspect I was part of some genetic enhancement experiment/program. The few times I did get taken to a normal hospital for emergency treatment not thinking anything of it, my parents would come and take over or have me transferred. I never thought anything of that at the time either.

2. No this is a known thing, not a secret. Some people just sleep more efficiently, have ability to remove built-up byproducts and shit from their brains quicker.

3. She told me this as 'our secret' when I was younger. I don't think she was supposed to tell me, but I thought it was kinda cool. I didn't connect everything until later.

4. No man my hand and arm were seriously fucked up. Climbing accident where I fell, my arm took a nasty impact on the way down, and was then entangled and trapped so I got stuck hanging by it for a long time until my friends could get me down. One of those times I had standard emergency hospital treatment from a normal doctor initially, due to location and my parents taking longer to find out and get there. The doctor's prognosis was fucking grim to say the least. It's perfect now like it never even happened. That's what got me really wondering in the first place. Some animals are capable of that level of repair, and lack of scar tissue, but sure as fuck not normal humans.

5. I figure I must sunburn eventually, but I just don't think there are enough hours in the day for me to get the necessary amount of sunlight. And no I did start to feel different, especially in high school and would get negative reactions like yours if I told anyone, so stopped doing so IRL.

>>42517442
We already have three of those on the team. Sorry.

>>42510732
I see, this /x/ power is also known as 'common sense'. Which is so uncommon these days it does make you an /x/ceptional individual. You're in.

>>42510559 (OP)
I'm psychic but only when I'm driving in my car. I always know what other cars are gonna do before they do it and I'm always right. Kind of like they're not able to shield their thoughts while driving or something. I am Car-Man.

what's going on over here?
this thread seems retarded but ya'll keep posting in it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXFR1L_gOg8

>>42523544
Who keeps posting in what?

>>42510703
Fuck, I hate you.

Psst, call me.

>>42525755
retards
they keep posting in this thread

>>42525813
What retards? Where?

ive killed many people with my mind reflexively. anyone who ever wronged me is dead. i sometimes accidentally kill people who slightly annoy me, with my mind. i also have seen the future and avoided death a few times by doing so. like when i was about to be decapitated by a stop sign while sleeping with my head out the car window but had a dream it happened and woke up then 10 seconds later a stop sign knocked the mirror off

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>>42510559 (OP)
Anon learned that eating vegetables helps to stay healthy. Congrats

I have a mutant power of taking away any mutant powers from anyone who is posting in this thread. If YOU post it, you lose power. Easy and simple

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>>42521217
Kang or something~
You would not get it.

>>42526815
Obviously reading comprehension is not one of your powers.

>>42526821
One of my mutant powers is immunity from that. Nice try.

>>42526995
Nope, because I'm faster

>>42526821
You are the only one who said their power was a mutation.
You are the only one who posted about it.
so you are the only one who has lost their mutannt power.
I can still fuck your mom.
I can fuck EVERYONE'S mom.
God? Fucked His mom.
The concept of left? Fucked its mom.
Death cant touch me or I'll fuck its mom. Again.

>>42527434
enjoy your power loss anon
you will do shit, and that's because of me

>>42527445
Nope, not a mutant power.
I already fucked shit's mom. I'll fuck your mom next week. Remember to ask her.

>>42527456
I'd like to see that. I'm a voyeur

>>42523542
We'd like to avoid any trademark issues:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfHfTKdYwvY

>>42525813
Did we ever find out who these retards are?

I'm resistant to poisons, including poison ivy and alcohol intoxication.

I can broadcast thoughts with intent. I can read emotions very well,"micro expressions"?

Small amount of animal magnetism.

>>42510559 (OP)
You know, having psoriasis is actually a kind of "Rapid healing / mild Regen" as I once noticed someone with it, their skin heals a lot faster. Since their issue is over production of skin until it makes those hard ugly patches.
There are genetic mutations every generation or so. Genes, recessive, dominant and combining into new combos I mean, not just Stan Lee's Super Humans highly select ones. Also varying degrees of energy work and other occult practices can make someone more refined physically, such as aging slower and charismatic magnetic charge.

I'm still amused Prof. X and Magneto are rival Super-Jews though Magneto is the problematic one across the century.

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>>42510559 (OP)
>I found out it's partially related to the fact my body can synthesise Vitamin C.
Based. The fact that most humans can't when practically every other mammal can convert sugar into vitamin C has always seemed like the ultimate knee cap, if the aliens really came down during Sumeria and gene edited us.

>>42534722
For most of human evolution we would have been eating fats and greens and we wouldn't really have had a great need to breakdown carbohydrates so it actually makes sense.

That's why with the modern heavy carbohydrate diet that people eat everyone is fat and dying constantly.

I also only need 4-5 hours of sleep (I can force myself to sleep longer but I feel groggy and over slept doing so)

I can change my physical appearance traits over time by thinking about them (ie shape of nose, eyes, face). although it sometimes takes months to years, it eventually shifts to what I strongly focused on previously

I have some odd kind of clairvoyance but I'm not very practiced with it and I've been accurate in multiple remote viewing threads, though it gives me a horrible migraine after

I only lucid dream and have my entire life

I can focus the energy in my body to stop whatever pain etc i might feel (it's probably some kind of placebo effect but I noticed it while trying to practice qi shit. no longer need pain killers etc if I do this)

so all in all kind of lame/useless, but I figured I'd join the posting just to see how much cross over there is for everyone itt

>>42534756
>I can change my physical appearance traits over time by thinking about them (ie shape of nose, eyes, face). although it sometimes takes months to years, it eventually shifts to what I strongly focused on previously
So you're like that 'muh looksmaxxing' fag who Brett Cooper was wetting her panties over, except you don't have to hit yourself in the face with a hammer.

>>42535044
basically, but it's left my face looking a bit off to me because the features I change don't always match up with each other and they do not change all at once. they're also not always a net positive (ie focusing on having a straighter nose sometimes means a shorter nose, which then looks out of proportion with face length until the next change). it's not as exact as you'd hope